The Jam – October 2019 – Issue 8

Country Redford drummer Tommy Gunn was mixed up in federal litigation this past week. Federal attention was piqued and red flags were raised after Gunn reportedly hinted he was working on a new medley of songs for Country Redford’s 2020 concerts. September 19th, Gunn posted “Skynyrd / Diamond / Journey / Jovi… gotta find a way to mash these all together….” with hashtag “let the bodies hit the floor”.

“I figured it would be a cool way to boost our likes on Facebook for 25 to 65 year old females if I could come up with a medley of ‘Sweet Home Alabama, Sweet Caroline, Don’t Stop Believing, and Livin’ on a Prayer’,” said Gunn, “But the minute my post went live I had federales busting down my door!”

Later that same day a statement released as a conjoined effort between the Federal Drug Administration and the Center for Disease Control shed more light on the use of force against Tommy Gunn. “Immediate and prudent action was directed at the Gunn residence this morning in the name of American safety and liberty.  Several hand-written notebooks, a laptop computer, one acoustic guitar, and a Country Redford set list were confiscated from the Gunn residence and taken as evidence,” reported Robert R. Redfield, MD, Director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Administrator of the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry.

When asked about the fiasco, Tommy Gunn stated to The Jam “You know, I’m a bit of an anarchist at heart, but ultimately, the feds are just trying to save lives here.  I agreed to no longer pursue this medley endeavour in an effort to thwart further litigation. I mean, it’s not about the threat from Big Brother that has me backing down, it’s more about public health and safety.  The CDC Director informed me doing a medley with these songs would literally kill white people. Their hearts would just explode right there on the dance floor.”